H.E.A.L. BFLO

What an absolutely amazing event this was. The love I have right now for this city, this community, this practice is beyond comparison. For anyone who doesn't know, yesterday's H.E.A.L. BFLO (health, energy, art and love) was an indoor festival that offered yoga classes, workshops, food, vendors and one kick ass community to share it all with.

This amazingness took place at the Foundry Suites and the venue was just as beautiful as the yogis who participated. Everywhere you turned there were interesting and exciting sights to see from the acro yoga displays to the live music and smiling faces.

One of the demonstrations that
seemed to just organically happen

The day started with a Power Yoga session with Steve Procknal, this was my first time taking a Power Yoga class and while the cuing was a little different than I'm used to, it was just another example of how yoga is all encompassing. The vibe in the room, the energy coming off the 100+ bodies was nothing short of transcendent.

Up next was a workshop by Candice Fogarty and Jen Gress. I had no idea what to expect from this event because there was no description and I heard a variety of ideas people had including the possibility of it being on handstands (to which I was very excited and then slightly disappointed when I learned this wasn't the case). What did transpire though was something I can hardly put into words, without crying. Candice and Jen led us through a series of activities to help us "make room for even better things" in our lives. We introduced ourselves to strangers, labeled our fears and excuses, and identified our loves and passions...culminating in a powerful declaration. We had to fill in the blanks of a sentence they provided. Some were even brave enough to stand and validate their statement in front of everyone - I wasn't quite ready to do that, so this will have to do.

It may not sound like much but to me it was heart wrenching. Before we filled in the blanks we talked to a partner (the last of 3 strangers we had to introduce ourselves to). Mine was a beautiful girl named Alyssa (boy do I hope I'm spelling her name right) and she asked me if I was hoping to do something I had always wanted to do. My response was quite the opposite. There is something I never thought I would or wanted to do and I'm about to walk that road. I'm terrified of it. I don't know if I'll be any good at it, I don't know if I will mess it up, before it even happens, during or even worse after - because its a life long change. Once I make this choice there's no going back, there's no changing my mind.

That's when I wrote my declaration.

I give up doubt and I'm committed to courage RIGHT NOW!

Of course after writing it I immediately began to doubt myself, but then I realized something, I had just bought a bracelet from one of the vendors...I don't even remember the name of the vendor, they were "I am" bracelets and I picked one out that really resonated with me and realized it's description wasn't listed on the display, so I asked the girl behind the counter what did this particular bracelet represent? I am courage was her response. After the workshop, I returned to the vendor area and saw some mala beads, there was one really beautiful set and when I looked at the tag....it read Courage.

I have always been someone who believes things happen for a reason and at this point I simply had to accept that the universe wouldn't stop slapping me in the face until I listened. 

When they're not around my neck or wrist, my alter will
be their resting place.

Last but not least, I had the supreme honor of being an assistant during Love in Motion's class. I was a little nervous but to be honest after the emotional roller coaster of the previous workshop I was thrilled to have something else to focus on. Love in Motion is an extremely inspiring, fun and all around beautiful duo. Kate and Kathleen write a blog, run workshops, retreats, and all sorts of wonderful events. Their flow was strong. It got into all the gooey spots and featured their trademark laughter. While I found it an interesting dynamic to hear their cuing and not follow it with movement, it was quite wonderful to assist fellow yogis, some of whom had never taken a class before. Whether I was adjusting the alignment of a foot during pidgeon or applying pressure in child's pose, the flow of energy was invigorating.

The day continued with a Yin class by Carrie from East Meets West and ended with a finale class led by a variety of teachers. Unfortunately, I missed the last two sessions because I promised my husband I wouldn't be gone all day (this event landed on one of the final days of our staycation). Regardless, my experiences from this day are unforgettable. All I can do is hope the lovely ladies who made this happen keep it coming!

Home Practice Take 1

Today (OK it was actually 3 days ago now that I'm finally getting to edit and publish this post) was my first attempt at a home practice since beginning my yoga teacher training with East Meets West Yoga. I'm proud to say that it was the longest I've ever managed, topping out at just over an hour!

Unfortunately, I still don't feel like I can put together a sequence of poses that are thoughtful and productive - and by productive I mean working towards something. I kind of just move. I've heard a lot that this is just what you do when you start out but I think my biggest complaint with my home practice is that I don't have the juicy, open, warm and fuzzy feeling at the end like I almost always do after a class. One class in particular last week, Carrie's Open Vinyassa on Wednesday left me feeling strong, open and simply content. I want that feeling from my home practice - and I'm determined to get it.

I guess I should note that I did my 3-3-3 medication exercise just prior to practicing today. I'm not sure what impact that had if any. As I sit here typing I'm watching the video of my practice (yes I recorded myself and no I don't think it means I'm cocky or obsessed with myself) its really all about watching my alignment. Can I see the things that feel good and the things that don't feel so good?

Here are some things  I noticed:

• My downward dog looks better than it feels. It feels so heavy in my shoulders and wrists lately. I was sure it must look awkward and uncomfortable. Go figure. Another problem I have with my down dog is the length of it. Is it too short? I feel like when I roll out to plank and back again I'm never at the right distance. I have to slide my feet back in plank (or slide forward like I'm going to lower to chaturanga and I know that ain't right!)

• I could use more length in my upper back and less movement in my head. 

• On my jump forward I need to get my hips higher in the air, there isn't enough room for legs when I get there and I end up bending them deeply and/or landing too hard. 

It feels like my feet are
sliding farther and farther apart

• My butt sticks up a little in plank, I wonder if that has to do with my persistent need to pull my hip bones to my ribs. That is not a very clear way of expressing that. We've been talking in training about building a language to communicate clearly and let's just say I'm trying.

• My transition from warrior 2 to triangle looks as uncomfortable as it feels. My warrior two stance always feels short so I spread my feet farther to where it feels yummy but then when I try to transition to another pose it always feels way too long.

• No surprise here but I lose my belly a lot. I need to work harder on constantly engaging my core. Which is funny because we were just talking about in class how this phrase means nothing.

• I'm short changing my plank when I roll forward and move to side plank
  

OK so those are a lot of things and the video is still going! I guess I can say I have my work cut out for me!


Now upon re-reading this I'm being pretty hard on myself, focusing a lot on what's wrong with my practice when in reality there were a couple things that looked really good or I was able to do that doesn't always happen...like this side plank variation. Today I had it on my right but not my left, other days I can't do it all and once in a while I can get both sides.






My pincha mayurasana (forearm balance) has been a work in progress now for almost for two years! I can't seem to pry myself farther away from the wall and I definitely find open leg variations easier than legs straight but I'm getting there!






This last picture is just for your viewing pleasure. I found it hilarious!  Anya actually made a number of cameos in my practice (she seems extremely interested in the camera!). But during my savasana....this is classic. Enjoy!

A weekend with David Robson

So I haven't posted in a while and I have to admit it had a lot to do with the my own superstitions! I didn't want to jinx it!  What's "it" you say? Well you might remember that I applied to a teacher certification program at East Meets West Yoga, well...I GOT ACCEPTED!!!!  I actually got the news a couple of weeks ago but its been such a whirlwind around here lately that I didn't get a chance to share the great news!

Needless to say, I'm so excited to embark on a new branch of my journey through life.  This really is an exciting time and I'm so thrilled to share it will you!

Not sure who to give credit to for this but I first
saw it on Pinterest and I love it! Hilarious!

The day I got the news was the same day that launched a weekend of workshops with the amazing David Robson, owner and Director of the Ashtanga Yoga Centre of Toronto.

The first workshop was Learn to Float and boy was it a humbling experience. After introductions, David guided us through Sun Salutations to a hypnotic drum beat that empowered you to focus on movement following the breath and having the inhale = the exhale. Traditionally in my practice I would have believed I was adhering to this but my focus (without me realizing it) was on the movement and matching my breath to it when I should have been focusing on my breath and slowing down/speeding up my movement to match.  Moving to the drumbeat (which I have since purchased from learntofloat.com) exposed how I was moving too quickly through some asanas. I actually chuckled at myself a few times when I found myself already in chaturanga at only the 2nd count of a 4 count exhale.

My aha moment in workshop #2 Hips, Knees and Forward Folds came when I figured out I was always over flexing my feet in seated folds. This took the stretch out of my hamstrings and into my calves. The final workshop was Jumping Through & Back and what can I say other than its going to take YEARS before that happens (if at all).  I learned a lot of things about my body that I just need to accept and work with, like the fact that my torso is the longest part of my body (proportionately speaking that is) so when I'm trying something like jumping back and through I need to work even harder pulling up and in with my core to get my body through the small amount of space my arms allot me.  I also believe this contributes to my collapsing in when doing poses like Utthita Trikonasana and Utthita Parsvakonasana.  Since these workshops, I've been focusing more on finding length on both sides of my body.

As much as I learned from the entire weekend though, there is one overarching idea that has resonated with me above all and it applies to a number of habits I've developed in my practice.  That idea is finding the work in every pose, the real work that is, and getting rid of all the "extra" stuff or breaks. A great example of this is uttanasana or standing forward fold. A pose that in a lot of ways was a "break" for me.  I collapsed in and took a brief moment of rest. David spoke frankly to us about how every time our hands touch the ground we should be rooting down -palms flat pushing the earth back.

Another example that this idea applies to is the body's natural tendency to succumb to the easiest way to accomplish something. I realized I often rely on my flexibility and the strength in my limbs (which ironically I didn't think I had a lot of) to compensate for the lack of strength in my core.  Going forward, I'll be doing a lot more core work! Sadly, this will not win me any friends in class when the teacher asks "any requests?".

Finding Balance

When I think of what my yoga practice means to me the one word that comes to mind is balance.  Yoga empowers me, more than anything else I've found, to balance all aspects of myself and my life.

Balance is something I've been for striving towards for a very long time and only in the last few years have I finally started to grasp (although it is always a work in progress).  In fact, my first tattoo that I got when I was 18 included an infinity symbol which for me is a reminder to never stop seeking balance.

I've always consider myself to be a nature-friendly kinda person.  I enjoy the outdoors, love animals, am a recycling advocate, enjoy making all natural bath products and am quite spiritual in my beliefs.  My career, however, is a stark contrast to that.  I have a very technical, "plugged-in" job as an Instructional Technology teacher -and I love it.  I couldn't live with out my Smartphone or the Internet, in fact as I sit here writing this I realized I left my phone charger at work.  My battery will die soon and I will have to go the entire evening and morning without it!!!!  Ahhhhh!  So reconciling these two very different sides of myself has always been a struggle.  Sometimes I have felt more like a teeter totter than a cohesive individual.

My practice helps me find peace with myself on the good days, the bad days and everyday in between.  Its a way for me to challenge my body and my mind simultaneously.  In a lot of ways my practice has become an extension of me, something I can't live without.  I've found over the last few years that if I miss practice, or go a couple days without getting on my mat I feel it.  And not in the physical sense, or at least not only in the physical sense.  My mind misses it, my emotions become erratic and I struggle with focus.  It is my practice that helps me hone in on who I am as an individual, to embrace it and to find comfort where my passions overlap.

What I hope to achieve...

I've always considered myself, first and foremost, to be a learner.  Even in my career as a teacher, I'm a learner first.  I seek to learn from everyone and every situation whether its the teacher(s) I'm co-teaching with the students I'm working with or the strategy/tool I'm attempting to use.  In addition, my specialization is instructional technology - which is changing everyday.  The way a software works, the tools available and the network in which we work.  They are constantly different and I am always seeking to understand them better, to grow and change with them.  

My personal life is no different.  I enjoy cooking, taking care of my pets and practicing yoga.  My husband is a chef and can attest to the fact that with every dish I make I brainstorm ways to change and/or improve it.  I constantly ask for his feedback on what he would do and the best techniques for accomplishing it.  When it comes to my pets (more about them later) I read books, follow experts, attend training and basically spend as much time as I can interacting and observing them to learn how best to meet their needs.

My practice is one more way in which I am a perpetual learner and I hope to attend teacher training to further my own practice.  There are so many things I still want to learn about my body and its abilities, about the history of yoga, the techniques, approaches - everything I can.  I'm always craving more with my practice.  I want more time on my mat.  I want a deeper understanding of all aspects of my practice, not just the asanas.  This is my primary goal.  

While teaching is something I love to do- its my profession and teaching yoga would be an amazing way to bring two aspects of my life together, I don't see teaching yoga as the end all be all of my training.  If when I'm certified, teaching a class or two fits and makes sense then yes it would be fabulous but for now my objective is to make a stronger commitment to my practice.

My Background

Welcome and thanks for visiting!!!!  This blog is intended as a medium to share my journey as a yogi.  I'm applying to a teacher certification program at my favorite yoga studio East Meets West (EMW) and hope to use this space to reflect and grow.

One of the DVDs I used
way back when!

I first “discovered” yoga around 1998-1999.  I was in college about to change my major, transfer schools and move to a new city.  My understanding of yoga at the time was that it was about stretching and flexibility -which sounded great.  I always loved the way stretching made me feel, not only while I was doing it but after.  So I  bought myself a mat and an at-home DVD.  

For a number of years I practiced pretty irregularly, mostly a combination of yoga and Pilates using only a variety of at-home discs.   It wasn't long before I noticed a yoga studio on Elmwood Avenue and became intrigued.  I signed up for an Intro to Yoga workshop and loved it.  When that expired I took classes at the studio whenever I could -but money was tight.  As I started making a little more money and my insurance improved, I would get reimbursements for gym memberships. I took advantage of it and utilized the cardio machines, weights and group classes.  So for a few more years I bounced around different gyms trying different workouts and always attending their yoga classes. But I was never satisfied.  The classes were lacking direct instruction, adjustments and/or modifications - I always left longing for more.  In the back of my head I was thinking about the classes at East Meets West and how great my experiences had been there.

About 7 years ago I was going through another big change in my life, I had just ended a ten year relationship and was living alone for the first time.  I made a commitment to myself to pursue what truly makes me happy and not settle for anything less.  It wasn't long before I started attending East Meets West on a regular basis.  For a few years I was able to consistently attend at least one class a week and supplement it with classes at my gym as well.  I was fortunate to have found out that one of the teachers at EMW (Patrick) also taught a class at my gym!  It was during this time of practicing regularly (albeit a small amount) that I started to learn there were not only different kinds of yoga but that each teacher provided a unique experience.  

The real tipping point in my practice came in the summer of 2013 when the studio offered month long unlimited passes at a discounted rate.  I teach Instructional Technology in elementary schools so the summer months are significantly more flexible for me.  I purchased two months, attended 4-5 classes a week and  I couldn't believe the difference.  I felt better -physically, mentally, emotionally and even professionally.  September rolled around and I had to go back to work, my unlimited passes expired and all I could think was "how can I possibly go back to one day a week?"  I couldn't.  I told myself to be realistic though (schedule wise and financially) and aimed to attend twice a week.  The school year progressed and I was pleased to find I was attending at least twice, but more often than not, three times a week.   Somehow focusing more on me than on my job made me better at it and everything else I did.

For the most part, my practice has centered around East Meets West.  I've taken classes at a few other studios including Beyond Yoga & Pilates and Blue Lotus, both of which are/were in Rochester. While I've never attended any teacher training, I have gone to a few workshops including one on arm balancing at Midtown Athletic Club (Rochester) and two at East Meets West -an inversion workshop (with Kathleen and Sara) and an Ashtanga workshop (with Sara and Patrick).  It was during these workshops that yoga became more of a mindset/lifestyle and less my workout routine. I truly fell in love with yoga.  Workshops were more than just attending classes, I was learning so much and I wanted more.